


is anybody out there? tell me it’ll all be alright

by diabolicaldean



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Firefam Feels, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, Possible medical inaccuracies, Season/Series 04, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, atleast that was my intention, because the writer is uncapable to write relationships, but there are some sweet moments i swear, character injury, dumb tag but author is desperate, im begging fox to stop with queerbait, im projecting on buck cause i can, its like one section but still, mature language, nothing major tho, potential spoilers duh, so just a fair warning, some suicidal ideation, sucky english cause the author uses google every five minutes to check what a saying means, yk how it goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diabolicaldean/pseuds/diabolicaldean
Summary: “The staircase gave out and I fell all the way down so my guess is the basement? I don’t know though, the smoke is too thick to scan the room” he finished.“Copy that. Hang in there Buck, we’ll come for you.” Bobby responded“Not like I have any other option, Cap.”-based on 4x04/4x05 promo "i got the last victim, but i'm trapped"
Relationships: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 166





	is anybody out there? tell me it’ll all be alright

**Author's Note:**

> it was supposed to be just a little snippet of something i'd like to see in the actual ep but i got carried away a little bit. But anyways here's the thing, i SUCK at writing relationships, it's just not my thing so im offering you hopeful ending instead. hope you'll enjoy it :)
> 
> -
> 
> title is from "Carry You" by Ruelle

-

“I got the last victim, but I’m trapped,” he grunted into the radio, more debris and dust falling on him. He managed to get the guy near the exit - Jake, he said his name was - and then suddenly he was face down on the floor, the steel staircase swinging violently back and forth. Smoke was getting thicker, spreading through the room, flames were licking the walls, inching closer and closer to him. 

_“We know, Eddie is already taking care of him” Bobby’s voice came through the radio._

_“Do you know where you are?”_

Buck looked around the room. The smoke was covering all the signs that could tell him his location. 

“The staircase gave out and I fell all the way down so my guess is the basement? I don’t know though, the smoke is too thick to scan the room” he finished. His oxygen tank got stuck on the railing, too high up for him to reach and grab the mask. _Good job, Evan, unclipping that off earlier, really nice._ He thought to himself bitterly. He tried to get the tank on Jack’s back - yes, despite the rules that clearly stated _not_ to do that - but before he could clip it onto him, something exploded and both of them bolted to the other direction, leaving Buck without a tank on his back and now completely and utterly screwed. 

_“Copy that. Hang in there Buck, we’ll come for you.”_ Bobby responded

“Not like I have any other option, Cap.” 

The factory shook violently, catching Buck off guard and making him fall on his knees. The staircase above him creaked, flames got larger than before, consuming everything in their way.

-

Eddie is gonna _murder_ Buck when he comes out of that factory. 

They all did dumb things but this might be the dumbest one yet. The factory was burning for hours, fire showing no signs of calming down. The 118 was packing their things, another shift already coming their way to replace them when they heard Bobby’s pager going off. The dispatch - Maddie - told them one of the workers called and said he didn’t know where he was and that there’s fire everywhere. 

This was a five-alarm type of fire, meaning every available firehouse was rushing to the scene to help out. Team from 136 was already geared up and in the building when Eddie heard someone scream _“a flashlight!”._ Before he could decipher whose scream it was, Buck was already up from the firetruck and sprinting towards the other end of the building. 

“Buck!” he ran after him but Hen and Chim’s hands pulled him back, Buck already in the building and out of sight. Bobby was screaming something into his radio

“Let me go, what the hell?!” 

“You can’t go after him, you already took off your gear!” Hen scolded, but she looked like she was itching to go after Buck herself. 

“I don’t care!”

“Well I do, now get it together! That’s an order, Diaz.” Bobby commanded. Eddie loved Bobby but at that moment he wanted nothing but to punch his captain. His partner was in there alone with no one watching his back, how the hell is he supposed to just stand here?

“Buckley, come in.” Bobby said into his radio, still looking at Eddie as if he was trying to see if he would have the nerve to disobey a direct order. Eddie was fuming but he stayed put.

“Buckley, come in.” he tried again

 _“Here, Cap!”_ Buck’s voice came through the radio

Eddie felt a small wave of relief wash him over.

“You found something?”

 _“Yeah, the guy that called dispatch turned on his phone flash and angled it towards the window. Pretty lucky that someone saw it through all the smoke_ ” Buck answered. Eddie could hear the smugness in Buck’s voice and his relief quickly turned into bitterness. 

“Okay now get the hell out of there, the other team can’t reach your part of the building” Bobby ordered. Eddie could see 136 exiting the building out of the corner of his eye

_“Copy that, Cap.”_

“I’m gonna kill him,” Chim suddenly said.

“Not if I get to him first” Eddie replied sourly. Neither of them were particularly fond of Buck’s tendencies to run into the fire. _Literally._ Chim because he hated the idea of having to tell Maddie her brother died on his watch and Eddie because… because Buck was his best friend and he didn't want to let him go just yet. 

That's what he tells himself anyway

The other shift arrived, Captain Donovan and his crew already heading out of the firetruck and preparing their oxygen tanks 

"Captain Nash, shouldn't you be on your way to the station?" Donovan asked while extending his hand to shake with Bobby

"As much as I would love to flee the scene, one of my firefighters ran back into the building for the last victim" Bobby replied with an exasperated tone. 

"Let me guess, Buckley?" 

"You already know."

Donovan shook his head. He knew Buckley was one of the "act first, think later" people. A damn good firefighter though. 

"Well Captain, I'd tell you to go back and that we would bring him to you but I know that's like talking to a wall." Donovan smirked "if you still have some strength left I'd like to borrow your paramedics, there's a patients' camp set up down the street” he pointed at ambulances passing by “they could use all the help they can get." he finished. 

Before Bobby could say anything, Hen and Chim were already holding their bags and heading to the camp. Eddie stood in his spot, his arms placed on his belt, looking at the flames with furious yet worried expression.

"Eddie you should go down there” Bobby started. 

"Not a chance" Eddie dismissed. 

"Eddie."

He looked at his Captain. 

"You're much more useful at the camp. I'm here and I'll wait for him to come back out."

Eddie was still rooted to his spot. He didn’t want to leave Buck alone but the rational part of him knew he’s of no use just standing here when he could go and help. Eddie sighed, lowering his head down and pinching the bridge of his nose. _Fucking hell, Buck._

He was heading to their firetruck, searching for first-aid kit and anything that he could need when another part of the building exploded. He heard someone screaming in the distance, fire spreading wider. He turned around, his heart skipping a beat. The entrance that Buck went through was now in rumbles, the victim that Buck went back in for running towards them, waving his hands frantically trying to get their attention. 

Everything crashed down and Buck was still in there.

The first-aid kit he was holding fell on the ground. 

“Buck!” Bobby shouted into his radio

A few seconds of horrible silence passed

 _“ I got the last victim, but I’m trapped,”_ Buck replied finally.

“We know, Eddie is already taking care of him” Bobby looked over at him pointedly. Eddie snapped out of the fear that made him freeze earlier and rushed to grab the first-aid kit from another truck, guiding the injured man to sit in the back of it. He kept his radio on, listening to Bobby asking Buck about his position

 _“The staircase gave out and I fell all the way down so my guess is the basement? I don’t know though, the smoke is too thick to scan the room”_ Buck said. He didn’t sound good and something twisted in Eddie’s gut. 

“Copy that. Hang in there Buck, we’ll come for you.” he heard Bobby say.

_“Not like I have any other option, Cap.”_

-

If Buck was being honest, this wasn’t how he imagined his Tuesday going. Everything was filled with smoke, his makeshift mask doing little to filter out the air. The basement looked like Hell on Earth, with flames climbing the walls and debris falling onto him. Last explosion blocked his only exit and Buck was left at the time’s mercy. If anyone tried to get to him, there was no guarantee that the whole place wouldn't crumble on itself, killing him and the people that tried to save him in the process. With that thought, he reached for his radio

“Cap?” he asked. He got no response from the other side. Buck slammed the radio against his hand a few times, trying to get it to work 

“Cap?” he tried again

 _“Just a little bit longer Buck, I promise!”_ Bobby answered hurriedly

“No. It’s-” he coughed violently, smoke setting heavy on his lungs. He cleared his throat. “All the exits are blocked and the whole freaking building is too unstable” Buck warned. His whole body felt like it was on fire. 

“It’s not safe.” he made himself say. 

_“Buck, we’ll get you out, don’t worry”_ a frantic voice of his captain came through the radio.

“Bobby…” he knew Bobby was talking out of desperation. The building is too unstable to go digging around it and Bobby knows that. Buck knows Bobby knew that it would be too risky to put anyone else’s life on the line. 

_“Buckley, we_ **_will_ ** _get you out. Just hold on a little longer.”_ Bobby pleaded

It was useless to continue fighting him so Buck just gave a weak “okay” in acknowledgement and shut off his radio. He knew it wasn’t the smartest idea but he couldn’t listen to any more empty promises. Everything _hurt_ , especially the leg that was under the firetruck nearly three years ago. He shook his head, trying to chase away the flashbacks that started appearing in front of his eyes. Fatigue was now taking over his body and he wanted nothing more than to let it consume him, to fall into the darkness that would get rid of the excruciating pain. But he made a promise to Bobby, he told him he would hold on.

So he held on. 

-

Bobby was watching Captain Donovan and two of his firefighters trying to put out the fire when Eddie passed by him.The man was back in his gear and was sloppily trying to put on his oxygen mask

“Eddie-”

“I’m going in there” his firefighter responded, mask now secured on his face

Bobby hurried over to him, pulling him back by his elbow.

“And how are you going to do that, huh? The damn exit crumbled down” Bobby said harshly, gripping Eddie’s elbow tighter. He stood in front of him, blocking Eddie from striding towards the burning building. Eddie looked around helplessly.

“I don’t know but I have to do something!” he said desperately

“And we will do something. C’mon, grab the other hose” Bobby dismissed

“Cap-”

“Diaz.” Bobby looked at the younger men sternly “Hose. Now.” 

Eddie looked torn but he headed over to the other hose. Logically he knows they’ll have to at least reduce the size of the flames but he wanted nothing more than to go straight to the buried exit. Buck was running out of time, judging by the painful coughing he heard a few minutes ago before Buck went radio silent. 

Bobby and Eddie made quick work of securing the hose in place, pointing it to the biggest flame near the building Buck was currently in. The fire was not calming down and Eddie felt frustration and hopelessness fill his body. He looked around the building, trying to find any entrance that didn’t look like it was gonna fall onto him the moment he disturbs it. 

The smoke was making his search for some kind of opening million times harder, other people blocking his view anywhere he looked- 

_Wait_. Eddie narrowed his eyes, focusing on something in the distance.

Red, metal doors were holding up strong just a two or three hundred yards away from them. 

“Cap!” He yelled back at Bobby, pointing to the direction of the entrance

Bobby’s eyes trailed the path his finger was pointing at, his posture straightening when he realized what Eddie was showing him.

“Get the chainsaw. Let’s go!” his captain ordered, signaling captain Donovan’s crew to point their hose near the doors. 

-

Buck didn’t know how much longer he could handle the heat.

His makeshift mask was now laying on the floor near him as well as his helmet. At some point he fell on the ground, unable to hold himself against the wall anymore. He was flat on his chest, trying to breathe but only inhaling more smoke and burning his airways in the process. He couldn’t see anything, his eyes stinging from all the dust and ash every time he opened them. He regrets turning off his radio ‘cause by the looks of it, he’s not coming out of this alive. He didn’t even get to say goodbye.

God, how is Maddie gonna take his death? They were always close as kids, they relied on each other for everything despite the age gap and then Doug happened, making them strangers. When she came to LA, they repaired their fractured bond and now it was stronger than ever. This time though, he was the one breaking it, irreversibly. 

He hates the way his brain works but he knows his crew will manage without him. Buck was a good firefighter and even a better teammate but like everything else, he was replaceable. No matter how much he gave it never felt enough. People still left him, taking pieces of him with them. He knows his death won’t be taken lightly but he can’t help but think that they will get over it soon enough

_They’ll be okay without me._

Buck couldn’t hold on anymore. 

-

After they cut through the door, everything went by in a blur. Eddie found Buck passed out near the fallen staircase, his pulse weak under Eddie’s fingertips. _Weak but there._ The doors they found were leading down the still standing stairways and into the basement. He doesn’t know how none of the hallways weren’t crowded with debris and wall chunks but he isn’t complaining. Clear hallways meant they could find Buck faster.

After Bobby and Eddie pulled unconscious Buck out of the building, they were met with Chim and Hen already waiting for them with the ambulance parked a couple meters away from the doors, just enough so they weren’t in danger in case everything came crashing down. 

They hooked up Buck on the cardiac monitor and ran the line, trying to get fluids in Buck’s system as soon as possible. His turnout jacket and pants protected him from most of the burns but there were blisters forming on the back of his neck. It looked like it’s gonna hurt like a bitch when he wakes up

 _If he wakes up._ Eddie’s mind supplied. 

He packed up the rest of his things and sat near the stretcher, letting Hen work on Buck while Chim drove the ambulance back to the station with Bobby on the passenger seat. Eddie took Buck’s hand in his, relieved to feel his pulse getting stronger

 _“He has to go to the hospital!”_ Chim yelled from the front

 _“By the time they admit him he’ll be dead!”_ Hen burst out. With everything happening in the hospitals and generally in the world due to Covid, they couldn’t risk waiting in the line at the ER _(yes, the ER had lines, the staff was that stretched out)_

“Chim for hell’s sake just drive us to the station, we can handle this!” Hen answered while checking Buck’s eyes.

“Pupils are normal, no signs of brain injury or concussion.” she stated. She checked off everything on the list that could possibly indicate anything fatal, meaning Buck was out of the woods, at least for now. 

“He probably sustained some burns and a nasty case of smoke inhalation, but nothing Chim and I can’t handle” she added. Hen slumped against the side of the ambulance, taking a deep breath after realizing that her friend will be okay. 

Eddie remained silent, his eyes starting to water and he looked up, trying to chase the tears away. Hen could see his struggle to keep it together but she didn’t comment on it, letting Eddie work through whatever it was on his mind now. She knows that whatever fear she was feeling for Buck, Eddie was feeling ten times stronger. 

He brought their clasped hands to his forehead, taking in deep breaths. It's gonna be a long night.

Buck slowly came to his senses. The first thing he felt was an itchy bandage at the back of his neck, and a soft blanket under his palms. He carefully opened his eyes, afraid of what he would be seeing. Buck wasn’t a religious man by any means but he wasn’t sure afterlife didn’t exist. The room was dark, a dim light on the nightstand illuminating it just enough for him to recognize where he was.

He was in the bunks room. _Huh. Weird place for an afterlife._

Then his brain registered the stinging under the itchy bandage

_You’re not dead, you dumbass._

He sprung off his bed, almost falling out of it. Buck looked at his hands, feeling his forearms as he patted himself down, as if he was trying to reassure himself he’s here. _Alive._

 _“_ How in the hell-” he started while looking around the familiar room.

“Oh, thank God.” someone said, making Buck startle where he was standing. The voice came from the bed next to him. 

“Hen, Jesus, warn a guy before you scare him to death.” Hen looked like she was just waking up and judging by her rumpled clothes and her crooked glasses, that was the case

“Sorry Buckaroo, just glad you’re awake” she said, deposing her glasses on the nightstand and walking over towards him, guiding them back onto his bed

“How are you feeling?” she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder

Despite the headache and slight burning in his chest, Buck felt relatively okay. His neck was itching but it wasn’t terrible. He guessed there’s a burn under the bandage so he refrained himself from touching it.

“I’m okay,” he answered truthfully. Hen gave him a small smile.

“What time is it?” he added, rubbing his eyes, trying to wake himself up a bit more. The fatigue was still present but he felt better now that he was out of that basement.

Hen turned around to get her phone from the nightstand, cringing slightly at the brightness of her screen. “Just after midnight.” she said, dragging out the word ‘just’. She turned back to face him.

“Buck, you gotta stop running headfirst into the fire” Hen looked at him with concern, her hand gently squeezing his shoulder. He answered her remark with a tired sigh. 

“Why are you still here, our shifts over.” Buck countered.

Hen looked him with a confused frown

“None of us went back home. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up for hours now.“ 

“You should’ve driven me to the ER, I’d be fine” 

“And sit in those godforsaken waiting room chairs instead of a comfy bunk bed? Yeah, how about no.” she disregarded. Buck snorted.

“Buck, if we drove you there we would still be waiting for you to get admitted. I mean, ER is packed right now.” Yeah, that was true. He wasn’t mad about them treating him at the station, but he felt bad about worrying all of them and making them stay after hours. 

“Well uh, thanks for taking care of me, I guess” he replied. Hen smacked him lightly across his head

“Ow”

“That’s what you get for saying nonsense” she replied. 

A comfortable silence filled the room. Buck took a second to just be, grateful that he survived yet another close call. Hen looped her arm through his and gently placed her head on his shoulder, her thumb slowly tracing his knuckles. After a few minutes of just drinking in the comfort of Hen's presence, he heard a tired sigh near his ear.

“You scared the hell out of us, Buckaroo.” She started quietly. 

“I’m okay, Hen.” he replied

“But you almost weren’t. I swear Eddie is gonna lose his mind if you continue doing this” She squeezed his hand.

Buck felt guilt wash over him at the mention of his best friend’s name. He ran away from the man, leaving him alone to watch him run into a burning building. Buck knows if Eddie did that he would be less than impressed. He gulped before asking what’s been on his mind ever since he woke up.

“Is he-”

“He’s still here,” Hen replied softly. “He wanted to take you to his place but Chim and I felt better with you staying here incase something went wrong” 

“And Christopher, is he okay?” Buck asked worriedly

“Why wouldn’t he be okay? Carla is taking care of him until you guys get home” Buck sighed in relief. He hates that he made Christopher wait for Eddie for more than necessary.

“Wait, until **_we_ ** get home?” 

Hen let out a short laugh, shaking her head and looking down on the floor. When she looked back up at Buck and saw genuine confusion written all over his face, her smile faltered a little

“You seriously thought he was gonna let you go back to your place after the stunt you pulled?” she asked in an amused tone

Instead of responding, Buck lowered his gaze. 

“C’mon.” Hen clapped him on the shoulder, mindful of his injuries there, standing up and stretching her arms above her head

“Let’s get you home.”

  
  


-

Eddie’s truck was dead silent.

When Buck came out of the bunks room, Eddie didn’t know if he wanted to hug him or deck him. His best friend looked okay, considering. Hen was gently guiding him by his elbow, trying to get him safely down the stairs. Eddie was sitting in the locker’s room despite Chim and Bobby’s protests and offers for him to take a nap. He just wanted to be left alone, to process what happened without feeling worried eyes on him

He almost lost Buck. _Again_

He was getting pretty tired of losing people he loved. 

Ever since Shannon, Eddie had a hard time letting someone in. He never really tried to, to be fair. He had Christopher to think about, doctors to find for his son’s treatments and whatnot. L.A. had it all. He managed to find a nice apartment that was near enough to his tia and abuela. It wasn’t too far away from his new job either.

Everything else, though? Buck helped.

Their first meeting hasn't been great, with Buck’s hostility and Eddie’s short temper. He didn’t expect a warm welcome on the first day, but Buck’s strong aversion to him took him off guard a little bit. Especially when he saw how genuine Buck was with the rest of the crew. 

And then the whole grenade in a guy’s leg incident happened and suddenly he got to meet the real Evan Buckley.

Evan Buckley was kind. Selfless. Ready to jump at any chance to help, ready to help you carry your burdens even though you didn’t ask him to. While he seemed out of the loop most of the time, Buck knew exactly what to say or do to make someone feel better, to make them look on the brighter side even in the worst situations. Evan Buckley was unique. And fucking reckless. With no sense of self-preservation. Which made loving him extremely painful at times. 

This time was no exception. 

Eddie was furious yes, but mostly he was _hurting._ Loving Evan Buckley was simultaneously the easiest and most painful thing Eddie has ever done. He knows Buck doesn’t think much of himself. He knows Buck doesn’t really care about what happens to him as long as his family is safe. As long as anyone else is safe, really. He's always ready to put himself in the line of danger for anyone. Eddie just wanted to scream at Buck about how much his recklessness scares him, how his lungs tighten up everytime he thinks about Buck dying, about Buck leaving him and Christopher behind. Other times in the past, he couldn’t voice his concerns, a lump forming in his throat everytime he tried to. But after tonight, Eddie’s incapability to say his peace of mind went out of the widow.

 _“What in the actual fuck were you thinking, Buck?”_ he screamed at the man next to him, gripping his steering wheel and not looking away from the road.

“Eddie-” Buck tried to calm his friend down but Eddie cut him off

“No, seriously, what the hell was that?” Buck flinched slightly at Eddie’s tone.

“I saw the flashlight and went for it, what else was I supposed to do?” he questioned

“Just went for it, huh? Well that’s awesome. Great thinking there, man. It’s not like the other team was already in the building and ready to pull the man out” Eddie spat. Buck sighed tiredly, turning in his seat to face Eddie

“The other team couldn’t see the flashlight-”

“Bobby would radio their Captain and they would go there-”

“And besides, the building was too unstable for any more people going in there” Buck finished. 

Eddie snapped his head towards him with a furious expression.

“So it’s okay for you to go in there, alone, but it’s not okay for a whole damn team of firefighters to do so? Is that what you’re saying?” his voice remained leveled despite the rage in his tone. 

"You know what, you're a fucking hypocrite, Eddie." Buck said suddenly 

"Excuse me?" 

"You heard me. _You_ are scolding _me_ for going somewhere no one can follow as if you didn't do exactly the same months ago." he explained. 

It took Eddie a second to get what Buck was saying

"You mean the well rescue?" Eddie asked, confused at the sudden change of spotlight

"You were thirty feet underground and you cut your damn rope." Buck added. 

"That was different, the kid-" 

"How in the hell was that different from what I did tonight?" Buck exploded "Just like that kid, Jake would've also died if we waited any longer." 

"You're not listening, _there was already another team ready to go into that building-_ " 

_"They were in another part of the factory, by the time they came out the whole place would crumble-_ " 

And so on they went, their yelling match getting increasingly louder and worse. Eddie couldn't understand how Buck didn't see an issue with him running headfirst into danger when there's no need to, and Buck couldn't understand Eddie's hypocrisy. It was their job, to go where no one else dares to go and yeah sometimes they get hurt, some get killed but it was their _job_. The victim comes first, always. Especially when you have no one at home waiting for you. 

"Eddie, for the love of God, just drive me home!" Buck interrupted Eddie's last argument. Eddie just looked at him with his eyebrow arched

"No." Eddie said calmly, turning back to watch the road. Buck frowned in confusion

"What do you mean no?" 

"Someone has to look out for you for the night" 

Buck rolled his eyes. "It's just some smoke inhalation, I'll be fine." 

"Still." Eddie said, leaving no room to argue

"You can't keep me here against my will, that's kidnapping." Buck tried anyway 

Eddie snorted at that. "Yeah? And what are you gonna do, call Athena?" 

"I might." Buck replied with utter seriousness 

Now Eddie was the one rolling his eyes. Buck was no stranger to isolating himself or acting like a child when he doesn't get what he wants but this was just ridiculous 

"Just… humour me, okay? Just one night, let me take care of you." Eddie pleaded. 

Something about the way Eddie regarded him with so much concern in his voice made Buck pause. He knew this fight was pointless, just like most of their fights are but he is tired of repeating himself over and over. He's not looking out for death, he's not in a rush to die but… truthfully if he had died tonight, he wouldn't mind it. 

And okay, it's not that Buck was suicidal or anything, he's just being honest. Because what is he living for exactly? He has a great life, he has people he loves but he is not _living for them_. He doesn't have to. They all have people who wait for them at home, who pray for them to get back safe and sound, who can't imagine a life without them. And yes, Buck has Maddie but she has Chimney and a baby on the way. 

No, Buck doesn't live for anyone except his job. But his job can't hug him after a rough shift, can't bring him breakfast to bed, can't wait for him to come home or kiss him for good luck before he goes to work. His job makes him feel important, but not wanted.

So when Eddie is practically pleading Buck to let him take care of him, Buck pauses. He considers the fact that his best friend wants to look out for him despite Buck trying to push him away. Despite his protests that he is fine on his own, Eddie still wants to be close. Still cares about his well-being. Still loves him

And even though Eddie will never love him the same way Buck loves him, it still makes Buck's heart three sizes bigger. It makes him think that maybe he is wanted after all. Maybe he should let Eddie take care of him. It would be nice for a change, to have someone to worry over him instead of him worrying over someone else. 

"Okay." he replied quietly 

"Yeah?" Eddie asked with a soft smile. 

"Yeah. Let's go home." 

**Author's Note:**

> tell me if i missed anything in the tags and i'll fix it! ty for reading :)) 
> 
> -  
> if you have any suggestions or want me to write something feel free to dm me at @buckleysdean on twt ( the L is a capital i just so you know )


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